I Fell Off The Wagon...and Then It Ran Me Over

Soooo...it has been a while...and a lot has happened. I'm a MOM for one! Harper Michaela June was born September 12th. She has completely changed my life, in the best way possible. I LOVE her SO much. Who would have thought I would have been one of those Moms that is always kissing my daughter and talking obnoxious baby talk?

Isn't she just the cutest thing?! This sweet smile is what greets me after every nap. :)

I have also fallen off the Paleo Wagon in a big way. Saying I have fallen off is the biggest understatement. I fell off, and then it ran me over, and then backed up and ran me over again and again. Haha!

I keep trying to get back on, but it is tough! It has been hard to make sure I eat while taking care of my little one, much less make sure it is Paleo. Starting today, I'm totally committed though. And here is why...

(Least of all) I need to do it for me. I haven't been feeling well and don't have a lot of energy. Some of the same issues that I was having before are starting to creep back in: headaches, fatigue, aches and pains are a daily occurrence again.

I need to do it for my husband. Who wants to have a tired, unhealthy, unmotivated wife? Enough said!

(Most importantly) I need to do it for Harper. She deserves to have a healthy, present, energetic Mother. We also confirmed that Harper has Dairy/Soy Protein Intolerance. My sweet baby girl has had some tummy issues since birth. Reflux, throwing up, gas, CONSTANT pooping (I know TMI!), and a bumpy, dry rash on her face have been the norm. Basically, her gut is constantly inflamed. It will take about 6 weeks for her gut to heal after cutting out Dairy. I already cut that out a couple weeks ago. Her rash is already better! :) Yay! Most people don't know their baby has it because they are still pretty happy and gaining weight well. (Which she is...at her 2 month well check she was 11 1/2 pounds!)

I could just kick myself for not sticking with Paleo from day 1. I knew better...but I can't change the past...so I am just going to focus on the future. Poor baby! I knew something wasn't right with her and we persisted until we figured it out, which I am thankful for. I just wish she wouldn't have had to spend the last few weeks not feeling well. :(

So that means no soy or dairy for Momma. Have you ever noticed that soy is in EVERYTHING? Seriously...look at the ingredients on the next package that you buy. Odds are...it has soy in it! I figure if I'm eliminating soy and dairy, I might as well go full force Paleo. I feel my best when I do it, and I suspect my daughter will too.

So that was really what it took to kick my booty in gear and give me the extra motivation to start eating healthy (for me) again. I'm looking forward to having more energy, feeling well again and of course seeing my daughter start to feel better.

Updates...

I have a few minutes before I leave for worship services and thought I would give a couple updates.

1 - My Dad. Today he is finally able to find some peace and rest which has us all breathing a little easier. He still has a lot of "work" to do before he can go home (as soon as tomorrow...crazy!) Even though it is exhausting and he doesn't always want to do it he is being really great about buckling down and getting it done (even though he slips in a few little complaints before).

The past few days have been exhausting for Dad and the family. He was having some chest pain that quickly led to a double bypass. While having to go through that surgery is never ideal, when we take a step back and look at all the circumstances we can see God's hand in it all. If it had to happen the timing really couldn't have been better and we are so thankful that we were all able to be there. So many things came together; I won't exhaust you with the list. The surgery itself went beautifully and Dad's heart is very healthy!

Afterwards Dad had some complications and difficulties, which I'm sure can be expected when going through something as major as open heart surgery. He had some complications that caused him to be in excruciating pain for nearly 24 hours after the surgery. I really hope Dad does not remember any of it, but needless to say it was exhausting for him and so hard for us to see someone you love struggling so much. What can I say, it really was horrible! Luckily, the amazing doctors were able to determine what was causing the pain and get it taken care of. The medication that he was on for pain was also causing some difficult side effects, but again Dad and the family worked through that and we are all in one piece at the other side. Dad is the one that really had to battle through all of this, but it really does take a toll on the family as well.

Which brings me to two additional things that I am so incredibly thankful for:
1 - The Doctors and staff have been so incredible. We are really blessed!
2 - Our family and support system. This has been on my mind a lot lately. I have been a little emotional about it (blame the pregnancy hormones). I could not ask for a better family to bring a child into; I am a little overwhelmed by it. A healthier family...sure (sorry kid...you've got bad genes)...but a more loving, strong, supportive family...not a chance!
My Dad - I am so proud of my Dad. I know this was incredibly scary for him and he is exhausted, but he is making it through with the determination, love, sense of humor and strength that really defines him! I am so sorry that he had to go through this but I admire him more and more each day!
My Mother - wow - what can I say about her. I am so blessed to have that example. She is so strong in difficult situations and incredibly supportive and loving.
My brother and sister - have made me incredibly proud too. Jessica and Jordan, you really have been amazing and Mom and Dad have said that over and over too. (Even in Dad's less than lucid state he has muttered about how great you guys have been.) They are so proud of you! They have been by my parents side every step of the way walking them through some very difficult and frightening moments. I am so thankful that they were able to be physically and emotionally there when my body wouldn't allow me to be. I love you guys!
My husband - I can't thank him enough for being there for me; I can't imagine doing it without him. He has also really been there for my parents. I know we all appreciate him taking some night shifts at the hospital so the rest of us can get some much needed rest. You're going to be a great Dad!
My other brother and sister - Sam and Kelsey have been at our sides every step of the way as well. Thank you for the love and support and I am so thankful my siblings have you! You guys are amazing and we are very blessed to have you in our life and consider you family!
Our extended family and support - so many people have been there with support, prayers, encouragement and really willing to do whatever they could to help out. Even the things that may seem small to you have really touched us all and helped us through! I think it is really a testament to the kind of man my Father is.

Dad still has a long road of recovery ahead of him, but it is looking like the worst is behind us. We appreciate the continued prayers for recovery.

After experiencing this I really want to encourage you to PLEASE please take care of yourself! Be healthy and cherish this gift that God has given us. Sometimes you are up against some hard things (like genetics). Those of you that know my Dad know that he is a pretty healthy guy and you would not expect for him to have to go through something like this. Get yourself checked out, stay active and healthy! Some things are unavoidable and there will be heartache and pain in this life which makes the promise of Heaven all the more sweet!

2 - So quickly - an update on how I've been doing. I had committed myself to 30 days of Paleo and these past few days have DEFINITELY been a challenge! I'm pretty happy to report that I have stayed pretty Paleo. There were times when all I wanted to do was reach for something "comforting" but I had to remind myself that I would just be feeling worse later. It has been rough because there has been a lot of time away from home. I did have some rice and a little dairy over the past few days, but I was able to stay sugar free (mostly) and gluten free. I think doing that has really given me the strength of health to be available to support my family over the past days and I am really happy about that - it feels like a little victory. I am starting to feel better already and I am thankful for that.

Needless to say there has been a lot of stress, but I think I have been able to manage it pretty well and make healthy choices for the two of us. :) I am SO thankful to God for the health of my Dad and the love and support in my life!

One day at a time...

Oh - I also had an appointment this week and Baby Wilson is doing great! We get to find out if we are having a boy or a girl on April 29th! :)

We're Back!

We're Back!

A lot has been going on the past few months! First off, I DID finish my Positivity/Gratitude challenge; a few people had asked me about that. We lost internet connection for a few days so I never updated it online. Then it was full swing into the Holidays. Then I started not feeling so well. You probably all heard because my sister and Mom outed me on Facebook...Kyle and I are expecting Baby Wilson September 10th! (Hence the not feeling so well around the Holidays!)

Meet Baby Wilson! :)

This ultrasound was taken a while back. I'm currently 18 weeks and our little person is the size of a bell pepper! Coincidentally...what we had for dinner tonight...but I'll come back to that!

I don't have much time tonight, so I'll have to write more later regarding my thoughts and preparation for motherhood. Wait a minute...I'm going to be a Mom...there is a little person inside of me right now...Ahhh! (Those freak out moments happen every once in a while!)

There is a specific purpose I am dusting off the blog and posting tonight. I need some public accountability.

A little background...The first trimester of pregnancy was a little brutal and really played some mind games with me. All the foods that I had enjoyed eating were suddenly repulsive to me. As hard as I tried to find things Paleo to eat I eventually gave in and just ate whatever sounded good or I could stomach at the time...JUNK! (A four-letter word!) I was pretty much useless those first few weeks...just ask Kyle! I think that is a big reason that I didn't post on my blog for so long. I felt like everything I had been working toward was out the window and I felt like a failure! I didn't know how I was going to make it through...or WHY people CHOSE to do this more than once!? :)

Long story short I am starting to feel better. (I'm almost a functioning human again!) The problem is I am stuck in this cycle of not making the best eating choices for me (which impacts everything else in my life). I have tried to get back on track with Paleo, but keep veering off course. I fall into the, "You're pregnant, you should just have that ______ (insert sugary, starchy, no nutrient item here)!"

I am committing myself (publicly) to 30 days of Paleo eating. Kyle is joining me! (With one exception - he is allowed to have dairy.) I am not going to go strict Whole 30. If I want to make some Paleo cookies or waffles - I'm going to allow for that. I may end up having a little more fruit, honey, etc. than I would normally have or recommend.

In full disclosure - here is why I'm doing it! (I know some of these things may just be par for the course with pregnancy - but I also feel like many of them are caused, or exasperated by my poor eating habits. I know I don't do well with sugar and grains...I've got to stop to be healthy for me and baby!) Why do I share these things...

• I have gained 15 pounds! Okay...maybe even a little more! (Don't try to tell me that is okay. I know it isn't the end of the world...but really...the baby is the size of a bell pepper...I need to slow down!)
• Stuffy nose - EVERY MORNING and most of the day. A lot of coughing at night.
• Horrible headaches!
• Just recently my joints (elbows, shoulders, hips, knees) have been really achy in the morning. It dawned on me that I used to have this problem a couple years ago before I started eating clean.
• My skin isn't as clear as it was.
• SWELLING! My fingers look like sausages and my face looks like someone punched me when I wake up in the morning.
• Stomach troubles - my stomach feels like it is in knots. Not fun!
• Heartburn - horrible, horrible heartburn. Sugar and wheat really make this a lot worse...but I still have been eating it. Explain that one to me!
• Insomnia
• I'm starting to feel myself losing patience with people. I am not handling stressful situations at work as well as I have in the past. (And it is starting to get really stressful at work!) I have got to get this under control. It isn't healthy for the baby either. Not to mention my poor husband! :) He has been pretty incredible through this entire thing - more about that some other time!
• Not as clear headed as I have been in the past.
• Depression!
• No energy.

Okay...I think you get the idea!

I'm hoping getting back on track with eating clean will help eliminate or at least help me to manage better some of these things. With that and a lot of prayer...hopefully I will be a more enjoyable, contributing member of society, a better wife, friend, sister-in-Christ and eventually...MOM! (That still sounds a little strange!)

My plan is to keep track of what I'm eating and share it on my blog...the good days and the not so good days. Hopefully I'll hold myself accountable a little better and get out of the rut I've been in.

Today I had:
Lara bar for breakfast (not the best choice!)
Banana and cashews for snack
Roasted chicken and carrots for lunch
Coconut macaroon for snack (also not the best choice!)
Shrimp Curry with spinach and bell peppers for dinner (To drink: sparkling water with Mandarin juice)
Dried apricots for snack

I also set myself up for success tomorrow by packing my lunch and starting on some breakfast. Kyle and I made some sweet potato hash browns (with coconut oil and cinnamon and a little drizzle of maple) that we will be enjoying for breakfast with some eggs.

Okay...now to tackle the rest of my To-Do list before this day is over.

Day 1 down...wish me luck!

Day 25 - Positivity/Gratitude

Day 25. Today I am thankful for our monthly Bible study group. A group of us younger, married ladies get together once a month, share a meal and study through the book, "A Wife After God's Own Heart." It has been so great to get together with fellow christian women, in a similar situation and study what God's will is for us in our role as a wife. I gain a lot of encouragement and support from then. I really do appreciate and love each of them and the time we are able to spend together. Thank you Tanis, Catherine, Ashlee, Candice, Ashley and Jessica!

Acts 13:22

"And when He had removed him, He raised up for them David as king, to whom also He gave testimony and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.’

Day 24 - Good news!

Day 24. I am so thankful that my friend, Angie, got some good news today. She has been waiting for some biopsy results to determine if a lump was cancer returning or just some scar tissue. THANKFULLY, it is just scar tissue. We can all breathe a little easier now. Praise the Lord for good news! Also, remember to live each day with thanksgiving and not take your health for granted.

Day 23 - Fall food

Day 23. I know I said I was thankful for Fall already. But today I am really happy about Fall produce. I just love the variety that is available at this time of year. I just love having a good soup or stew or some spaghetti squash. And you can't beat a crisp, delicious apple.

Yum!

Day 22 - Gratitude of others

Day 22. Today I'm grateful for the gratitude of others. Today everyone at work planned a belated Boss's day celebration. SURPRISE! It was quite impressive. They really put a lot of time and thought into it. First off, they planned it on a day that schools were closed so we could all enjoy a celebration together. There was a potluck with some pretty spectacular food. Each supervisor/manager received a beautiful fall bouquet, a coffee mug, a coffee cozy, some office supplies and a special treat, mine was plantain chips and salsa. I thought it was so sweet that they took the time to get me something I could enjoy on Paleo. I think the thing that was most special was the card/booklet they put together that everyone signed. Reading what people had to say hit a special spot with me.

I think we've all been in that situation where we feel like we are trying hard but start to wonder if anyone notices or if it is good enough. Today gave me a lot of energy to keep going. It also reminded me how important it is to tell people why you appreciate them. It may be just what they need at just the right time. I appreciate everyone that I work with so much. We do some great things together and I know I don't tell them enough how much I appreciate them. I'm going to try to do better at that!